6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
In my 24 years, I can’t really say there been too much. You would think being taken away from my parents would be hard. But as a kid, I don’t think at five years old you really comprehend what is going on. I did cry my first night away, and I did always want to go home, and for the longest time it was sad, But once I got older it was more appreciated because it was to better myself in the future, and now I am thankful for the things I have been able to experience, because of being placed into foster care.
I have yet to loose a family member or someone close to me, this I am grateful for and I know it will kill me when it does happen. I have however lost 3 of my own dogs, and about 5 of my shelter dog and those experiences each were completely different and killed me each time.
Out of my own dogs, I had Dryfus he was a german shepherd collie mix, I knew him since I was 5, was never allowed near him as a kid. He was always the dog outside tied up in the yard. When I was 16 during the summer of 2003 I was able to bond and care for dryfus. I spend almost 7 months with him, he ended up with hip dysplasia and had to be euthanized. A month before my foster mother got a puppy and named him charlie, three months after dryfus was euthanized, charlie died from parvo. A year later a new dog, who would be named charlie entered my life. For two years me and charlie were inseparable, he went everywhere with me and my life was planned around him, with him. Two years later he was hit by a car, charlie death hurt me more then anything. I lost my best friend, coming home felt empty, waking up felt empty. Everything I did with him and he was no longer there, it just felt empty. It took me a long time to get over this. Even now when I look at his pictures it still makes me sad. It’s been five years, I have two dogs, but none will ever replace charlie, or any of them. They are all special and touch your heart in a different way.
My shelter babies are a whole different story, it so hard not to get attached, and there just a few that touch my heart. You work with them, you bond with them, you build this relationship with them, and then the next thing you know, it’s gone, you couldn’t save them. The pain, and disappointment when I feel like I’ve let them down, is just sad. It’s not like you really let them down, because you do what you can for whatever time you have with them, and it makes there last moment wonderful. What more can you ask, right?
I don’t know, it’s hard, it’s tough, it’s my life. I think about them all the time, I try not to think about how society failed them. I don’t believe I failed them, maybe I did? I think society has a huge rule to place in the way our animals are being treated and how over run shelters are. It’s sad.
I guess I’m a boring person, when the hardest times in my life is losing my animals. But I choose to work with animals, So it’s like I bring the sadness on to myself. I could stop, but what about those happy moments, they make it worth it. But it still hurts regardless, and each time is a whole different pain. It doesn’t ever get better. It’s a sad truth, to doing something you love.